If I apply the right shade of lipstick,
will you find me beautiful?
If I style my hair so it’s not frizzy anymore,
will you find me beautiful?
If I lose 10 more pounds to reach my ideal weight,
will you find me beautiful?
Or scold me for being shallow and neglectful
of our house, family, and marriage?
I have poured all my efforts into my
beauty
because it’s only now, at last I understand
how to enhance it
after decades of not knowing how to groom
myself,
after foregoing my looks for so long while I
please you and everyone else.
Childhood “friends” and bullies mocked my
hideousness.
Boys said I was good enough to toy with
but too ugly to be seen with.
You wouldn’t share our bed with me
if I resembled a monster.
However because I take 10 minutes each day
to apply makeup,
you call me selfish, shallow, and immature
when now I’m discovering my outer
beauty to match my inner beauty.
Teresa Sargeant is a journalist, author, and poet who lives in Orlando, Fla., USA. Find more of her original poetry on www.teresaesargeant.com. Her poetry book, A Symphony of Silence, is available on Amazon.